Dear Doctors and Staff:
Maybe other pregnant ladies have no trouble peeing at the drop of a hat, but it just so happens that I am not one of them. I hope you aren’t enjoying torturing me with your requests that I perform not even ten minutes after your last request, because then I would have to go a little crazy on you. Not the regular kind of crazy, either. You’re lucky that the Podling was behaving today, or there would have been even more crazy swirling through my already stressed self as I unleashed its full brunt on you.
I realize there was a reason to request a repeat performance, but I want to know if YOU could fill up a cup ten minutes after filling up a cup? Especially since the reason you needed another sample is because you did the dip-test on the first one, then threw it out before you read the results on the stick and realized you needed to do a few more tests.
Perhaps I wouldn’t have been so upset with you, Staff, except that I was already off-kilter. Front desk lady, you told me it was common knowledge that on Wednesdays, my doc is at the office in the hospital, the one thirty minutes closer to me, the one I have never been to. If it was common knowledge, why did you write on my appointment card to show up at this office today? You didn’t know. Yeah, I’ll be calling before I show up for my next appointment. Just to be sure. Since you totally scheduled me for the exact same day of the week at the exact same location.
So, I didn’t get to see my regular doc today. Not that there seems to be anything wrong with his partner, I just have never met the guy. Oh, and the whole thing where my chart and all my notes and applicable information was at the other office, so this doc who has never seen me and never looked at my chart had absolutely no information to work with when he came in. Awesomeness.
On the plus side, the other doc was really good with the Podling, and when I made it clear that no amount of encouraging was going to get them the results they were hoping for, he got me a very cold bottle of water and called Nurse Ratchett off my case to give me as much time as I needed to let nature take its course.
The Chick Who’s Paying You For This
P.S. I never thought I would write a post primarily about pee. Scratch that off the ol’ bucket list.