Warning: Rant ahead.
Have you seen the Tessellating Fish blanket (that’s a Ravelry link)? Where you knit individual little fish and then sew them together into a a whimsical (not “whimsicle”, that is a completely different subject best left to Regretsy.com) blanket, appropriate for children, mushy family traditions, or really avid ichthyologists. I made one piece by piece for my parents one Christmas, then decided it wasn’t big enough and took it back to add on to. 4 years later, it’s still in my closet in its original form. So I already have a history with this pattern.
I find it delightful. I always think, “Who wants to lug around a whole blanket around town, when you can just do it piece by piece?” I have knitted these fishes everywhere you can imagine, and they have the dishrag effect of giving you a little boost every time you finish one.
Unfortunately, then comes the seaming. I’m not fundamentally opposed to seaming, especially the running stitch and whipstitch, seeing as the design of these fishes leaves a really easy, smart edge perfect for seaming. No, my problem is the counting.
I started another fish blanket for my son before he was born. The fishes were almost completely knitted before his birth, and yet, he is now two years old and has no fish blanket to call his own. Last August I pulled out the pieces and started figuring out how I wanted to put them together. I made GRAPHS, people. Colored graphs. I was serious about this. NO ROOM FOR ERROR. I had LEARNED.
I tried crocheting the fish together, but didn’t like how the seam broke up the trippy-dippy color effect I was going for. I whipstitched them, because last time it looked homey and cute. This time, with black yarn, it just looked Frankenstein-y. I finally settled on kitchener stitch, which…yeah, I know. Pain in the butt. But it’s nice and unobtrusive on the proper side.
I stitched down one whole row, tail to tail and nose to nose. It was floppy and stretchy and unsurprisingly, I shoved the whole thing back into the closet to simmer down for a while.
Flash to now, when the number of WIPs in my closet is really getting embarrassing. Also, the kid is 2. I mean, really. I pull out the project, and working with it is a pain. I should have sewn the sides of the fish together; it would have been more stable, so I have the brilliant idea to baste the fish together with the dangly ends, and do so both vertically and horizontally. That way I wouldn’t have to worry about losing fish or have to drag the computer around, since that’s where the chart was.
I baste two rows and am on the third, when I realize I am missing some blue fish. I scan the house to see if child or cats ran off with a couple, but find nothing. I’m about to enlist the husband to help me dig through boxes again, when I decide to see if perhaps, just perhaps, I miscalculated on the graph.
I count the blue boxes. I count the blue fish I have. They match. My expression resembles this: I count again. Still with the matching. I take a closer look at the graph, and compare it more closely to what I’ve actually sewn.
That’s when I start to swear.
I won’t repeat it here; this is a family establishment, and I’m pretty sure I’d break some of those nebulous internet propriety laws if I actually typed out what was going through my head.
Apparently, back in August, I failed to count to four correctly, and instead added five blue fish to the first vertical row. Naturally, this cascaded and resulted in having to pull out some kitchener, and a whole lot of basting.
tl;dr version: I can’t count sometimes, and it is very annoying.